Guy Advice Available...from a guy!

[WishLine]

Hello, welcome to my little thread. Heck, it might seem weird to you, but I used to believe that there were no girls on the internet. It looks to me that they're there if you look in the right places. And here I am in a place where I am practically the only guy in sight xD

I notice all over - chatboxes, advice threads...questions such as 'Does he like me?' 'How do I tell him I like him?' 'I can't get rid of him' etc. So I thought it would seem fair if I were to offer up some advice to anybody brave enough to ask. So basically, if you have a question about the males of the species, or you just want your thoughts confirmed, or whatever, then please reply to this thread and I'll do my best to give you sensible, workable advice which isn't just spouting platitudes or whatever.

Now I know there will be people thinking 'Pah, a Sims playing guy. What does he know about all the other sorts of boys out there? Surely he can only speak for himself!'. Well I happen to know and spend time with all sorts of people as my friends, I could be more useful than you first think.

Of course, I put this up here knowing I might get no replies whatsoever, but if I do, I will endeavour to help you to the best of my knowledge or ability

Ask away!
WishLine

[alex]

Oh, I don't need any advice (yet) but I just wanted to say that I totally approve of this thread ^^ Way to go, Wishie.

[Little Monster]

Let me correct you - "And here I am in a place where I am one of the only guys"
something like that.

[Ashley (;]

Yeah, Chase is a guy.

[Louise]

Here goes. *deep breath*

Well, I used to talk to this guy, and I liked him. And he told me that he likes me too. So yeah, I was happy for a while. But then I found out about things that he did to one of my best friends (won't get into detail) and that he does drugs etc. etc. So I don't like him anymore.

My problem is that he won't go away! He keeps talking to me, and although I'm trying to be polite, I really don't want to talk to him anymore. I just want him out of my life. :S

[WishLine]

Hmm. It's never easy to get rid of a guy who's following you around (and nor is it very easy for the guy). Normally I would say focus on being as polite-but-firm as humanly possible. I'm not entirely sure he deserves it here.

I need to know a few more things -
1. Are you going to see him regularly whether you like it or not, due to school/youth group etc?
2. Could he lose his temper/make you concerned for your own safety if you tell him to go?
3. When you said you've 'been polite' do you mean you've actually asked him to go away before, or you've just been giving 'signs' you don't want him around?

Wish

[Louise]

1. PoNo.
2. He could. When my best friend told him to leave her alone, things got way out of hand. I think she ended up contacting the police or something.
3. I've been giving him signs. I'm kind of afraid he'll lash out at me, as he's done it before to others. *points to number 2*

[WishLine]

Okay. Well, first of all, you might be interested to know most guys are blind to signs xD. A girl might think she's dropping major hints that she (doesn't) like some guy and it just won't register in our blunt little minds xD.

So that means you have to spell it out for him, which you're obviously a bit worried about doing because this guy might be violent, or at least very angry. The best thing you can do is continue to avoid his conversations (quite obviously), be distant but not rude etc (and these aren't signs btw, these are actions!). Wait for him to say 'Are you avoiding me or something?', which he probably will.

Once he's asked the question, he'll want an honest answer. You sigh, say 'sort of' and explain in your own words why you don't want to talk to him so much any more. Politely, but firmly (ie, don't call him a desperate drug-abusing moron xD). Then, judging his reaction, say something like 'Do you get what I'm saying?', and you might just be able to resolve this without hurting his feelings more than necessary.

Do you think this may help? :-)
Wish

[Louise]

I think so. Thanks Wishy.

[WishLine]

You're welcome (I've just added to/reworded the post a bit)

And lol, I didn't realise Chase hung around here too xD. He's welcome to add to my advice at any time if he wants

Wish

[Kitkat.]

I've been hanging around with a guy-friend of mine that I like, but other people in my year don't like him because he's in the Support Base (a place for people with special needs to go). I don't like him as anything more than a friend, but people are saying that they've seen us kiss, when we haven't. I don't know what to do, and I want to get it sorted out before a week on Thursday because we go back to school then, and the boy whose been saying stuff might tell everybody.

[WishLine]

Hey Kitt. I hate rumour-spreaders, so that's why I sympathise with you. It's bad enough when people are gossiping about the truth without them gossiping about the lies xD

As you're on your summer holidays right now, I wonder how it gets talked about. Do people meet up and chat or do they facebook/online about it all?

Tell me that, and I can come back with specific advice.
Wish

[Kitkat.]

People tend to meet up a couple of times (that I don't go to, because I can't be bothered/I'm busy), but it's usually over MSN. I was with the guy because I saw him at the shop down the road, so we hung around for a while.

[WishLine]

Hmmm. One thing you could do, I suggest you and him should probably just chat on the phone and then together each post a shout-out on Facebook for all to see that you're not going out. Obviously, this will draw all attention to it, and people will want to know why you posted it, so explain that you knew there were rumours and you wanted them quashed.

The result will be to take away the fuel from the rumours, because when you stay silent, people will (wrongly) fill in the gaps. The week-and-a-bit you've got left should be enough time for it to all fizzle out, I'd guess. People get bored easily xD

Does that sound like a good idea to you?
Wish

[Kitkat.]

That sounds great. I'll do that. Thanks Wishy.

[Emilee]

I read through all the advice on this page, and I have to say... you really know your stuff. xDD

I'll need this soon enough.

[WishLine]

You're welcome, Kitt. Let me know how it goes

And sure, Emily, I just guess it's because not everybody is at school, which i where all the romance (or stress) happens. Then I think this thread may pick up the face

[Emilee]

I feel pathetic about this, but...

There's this guy I met a few days ago, and the day I talked to him for the first time, he was flirting with me a lot... then the day after he was acting like such a jerk... I'm not really sure if he was serious before, or just using me as a joke or something. He has a girlfriend, anyway, so I'm not really sure what to think of that, either.

[WishLine]

Hey Emi

Well I'll tell you what I think of it. I think he must be a jerk both ways, because
1. If he was genuinely flirty with you then he's being disloyal to his girlfriend - jerk.
2. If he wasn't, then he has a pretty harsh sense of humour that includes mocking people - jerk

He sounds like the sort of guy that gives us all a bad name. Not really worth your time, don't you think? Stick to people with better senses of humour and fidelity, is my advice

Wish

[Emilee]

Probably a good idea. I tend to make bad decisions with this kind of thing, so I'm glad I asked...

[WishLine]

I'm just glad to have been of some use . Remember, if some guy seems to be acting like a jerk, KNOW that he is coming across the wrong way, and doesn't apologise, chances are he probably is one xD

Wish

[Callie]

Wishy, I owe you.

But awesome job with the guy advice thing. I probably won't use it because... well, yeah. I don't want to. But good job, and you seem to actually know what you're talking about, which is definitely a plus. xDDD

[WishLine]

You're welcome . And thanks. I understand why you don't want to use it - not everybody feels like posting their issues on a web forum necessarily, but for anybody who does, I'm pleased to be given the opportunity to help!

Yeah, I'd kind of like to think I did have a vague idea xD. Being a guy, I should probably understand what guys are like xD

I hope you have a great birthday! ;D
Wish

[Callie]

Actually, I don't wanna use it because I think it's (dating) pointless. At least at this age. I mean, sure, there are guys I like, but I just don't want to try to fake something serious this early in my life just to fit in. Maybe in another year, I'd try it, but until then, I'll enjoy my alone time. xD

And yeah, I guess. Though honestly, I don't understand most girls, and I'm one xD

Thanks!

[Emilee]

Aug 29, 2010 20:49:19 GMT -5 Callie said:

Actually, I don't wanna use it because I think it's (dating) pointless. At least at this age. I mean, sure, there are guys I like, but I just don't want to try to fake something serious this early in my life just to fit in. Maybe in another year, I'd try it, but until then, I'll enjoy my alone time. xD

And yeah, I guess. Though honestly, I don't understand most girls, and I'm one xD

Thanks!

I don't think it's pointless at all. And I don't try to fake anything serious; I just like having a boyfriend because it makes me happy.

[Ashley (;]

I don't want a boyfriend at the moment because... I dunno, highschool relationships just don't seem to work. *shrugs*

[Callie]

I was talking about me, Emilee. xD That's just my opinion on things. Point of view on relationships or whatever. And I agree, Ash

[Ashley (;]

Though if I went by that, relationships in general don't seem to work. :/ So I guess we just have to be hopeful... Like one of my top three songs!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J7J_IWUhls&ob=av2e

[Little Monster]

Ash, highschool relationships aren't supposed to work.

[WishLine]

Ugh. Frustrations from the last few days has prompted me to add some general advice to this thread. It goes something like this:

If you're a girl and you fancy a guy who seems shy or to lack confidence in any way, then the worst thing you can do is to only ever be seen with loads of friends, giggling and chatting all the time. Of course, that's what you want to be doing, but occasionally going somewhere or doing something on your own and smiling at the guy - while you're on your own - might just encourage him to open up and say hi.

Take it from me, a guy finds it very hard to approach some of the nicest girls and ask them out when they're on their own (and in some cases, they'll find it hard to talk at all). We don't have a hope if they're in packs all the time!!!

Just something to consider xD

(And with regards to the school relationships thing...yes, many may fail but you still hear stories about when it goes well and two people fall in love etc etc. It's up to you if you want to try and be that person.)

That's all I have to say
Wish