Jokes on the Joker!
Encountering the toots made me step everything up another level, I’d been searching for the Batman when I came across the first escapees of Gothams finest nuts. I watched as they passed I was looking for those of them that would eventually come in handy in the business I currently had my oar in.
I stood there for a few hours till they stopped appearing and I stepped from the corner I was crouched in, checking my watch I saw that the twenty minute window to plant the bomb was coming quickly and then I’d have to run. I looked around and frowned when I realised that there was actually no point for my bomb, the prisoners id been looking to free to cause havoc had already been released thanks to someone else.
I shifted to my left when a scraggy looking blonde emerged from the gap, I gawped for a second at her rack and then smirked mumbling to myself “Typical man.” I watched carefully as she shuffled towards me without ever looking up well until she saw my legs and jumped slightly. The girls face looked slowly up at mine and I smirked widely taking in her features as she took in mine, pressing a Joker card into her hands I noticed her wonderful illuminating green eyes “Here toots.”
I watched her eyes lower to the card and I stepped back into the dark corner I had been skulking in earlier, as I watched she muttered something quietly before raising her head again I memorized her face because somehow I knew that she was crucial for my future plans.
Growling to myself I watch her perfect figure shuffle off into the dark Gotham city night “Be safe toots, because this clown has his sights set on you.” I muttered before noticing another figure lurking in the darkness, Batman stepped out suddenly just as I yanked a purple butterfly knife from my trench pocket but he didn’t bother me instead he just whispered “Harley!”
Shaking my head causing my hair to stick to my face I watched Batman disappear into the night again, just as my men swung around the corner in the black van and slung open the doors ‘Boss.’
Pushing my way into the front of the van I groaned “Someone had all the fun before I got here….So we need to round up some of the loons and then I have to research perrrrrrrrrfection.” I slammed the door and someone perked up ‘Care to indulge us boss?’ I shook my head smirking “No-p-e” I answered popping the p and then flooring the acceleration and rocketing forwards into the streets.
Three hours later we’d managed to round up a good thirty men and women who were willing to join our cause, an I was just pulling into the hideout with as much force as possible to shake them up in the back.
As I entered I picked up the laptop we’d acquired somewhere and began typing in Harley when I pressed send three reports popped up ‘Harley Wayne enjoys Halloween as a Harlequin’, ‘Harley Quinn Wayne turns 18 and loses her step brother’, ‘Harley Wayne checked into Arkham Asylum after months of despair!’ I looked at the pictures of the happy blonde girl and then at the one where she was wrapped in a white strait jacket, make up stained her face and blood was trickling from her mouth. I pulled up the Halloween picture and began printing it when I heard a whistle ‘Pwooar Harley Wayne….she was a pretty one shame about her being mad, that’s why the Wayne’s butler had her locked up….tried to kill the family dog in anger.’ he shivered and I growled throwing the purple butterfly knife straight into his throat, I watched in glee as he twitched and gurgled on the floor before the life went out of his eyes.
I continued to read as someone cleared the body up and the new recruits watched in awe and quiet fascination, however when I tried to delve deeper into her past about where the Wayne’s got her from I found that most of the important data and documents were gone cursing in anger I frowned remembering that we had blown up the Gotham adoption agency a week ago so any documents had gone up in smoke too.
I spent the next few weeks researching laying low and training the new ones while searching for purchases made by a Harley, I hit the jackpot not a week later when I found a flat on the upper east side had been brought by a Harleen Jo Kerlan laughing to myself I smirked “Someone wants me to find them…” The next evening I grabbed three of my men and the small picture of her in the Halloween outfit and headed out to the apartment listed, when we arrived I posted two of the men to watch the entrance and then took the third with me up the long flight of stairs.
After climbing the four flights my man was thoroughly worn out so making a mental note to kill him later, I opened the door to the fourth floor and then began searching for her flat smirking as I reached it “408...there’s the money.” I pinned the picture and another of my cards to the door with a small message on it and then knocked before turning on my heel and leaving.
A few weeks later and I still heard nothing and she left no more clues that she wanted to speak with me, as the anger grew inside me Id imagined killing her and torturing her many different ways. However in the true spirit of Christmas I decided to plan a heist on the central bank of Gotham, this was the busiest time for the banks as most of the mobsters were all hiding their money. While in the bank we came across no trouble, everyone cooperated without much death or screaming so I decided that I could have some fun while I sent my two best men down to the vaults to get me my money “Lenny, Cannon…Money now..” they both nodded and left with the bags. A few minutes later while I was messing around with a young desk attendant I heard a clatter on the slanted roof, I shrugged it off moments later as pigeons or the batman. I waited impatiently for the two men in the vaults when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs I smirked, they both appeared moments later carrying only three bags each “Four bags where given to you both for a reason….this reason…there was enough money there for eight bags therefore four bags between you.” I licked my lip and raised the Tommy gun earning squeals from the ones still alive, however before I could shoot them both Cannon spoke ‘But boss, there was a scantily clad woman robbing the bank too….’ I shook my head and aimed at them just as Lenny spoke ‘Yeah she wanted us to thank-you from her, then she ran off with the two bags…Although she was wearing that design you printed the other day.’
Shrugging I grinned manically “Everyone panic, disorder is key for survival and only the fittest will survive the bomb located in this building” cackling gleefully I left with the goons, flicking the switch when we were far enough away and watching the fireworks.
As the next two hours passed my hope grew in having a fitting accomplice to join the chaos of the Joker in Gotham city, I took men out again this time though I was setting out to get reassurance of an eventual union. Lenny and Danny stayed downstairs while this time me and Dick took the elevator, when I reached her room I banged violently on her door. After a few moments of banging she opened the door smiling wide at me wearing a mere purple night dress exposing her long thin slender legs ‘Come in J’ she purred sexily. I stood for a second before smirking “J. Aw toots I like it, So what can I call you?” she surveyed the room before answering ‘Toots is fine but if you’d prefer Harlequin would be good.’
I coughed in amusement and gave her an excited “Really!” she nodded smiling, she was like explosive putty in my hands. I looked at her and felt my eye twitch “My men said you were robbing the bank tonight and that you were wearing the design…oh an that you thanked me?” she shrugged and nodded. I spaced out imaging all that we would accomplish together, when she pushed me roughly I went to complain instead though I found my words muted as she crushed her lips to mine and pushed me out of her flat before giving me a single ‘Bye!’ and slamming the door.
Shocked and amused I scribbled a note in biro pen to the back of a Joker card and pinned it to the door, before turning on my heel and stalking after Dick and going back to the hideout.
More shall be posted soon…Until then enjoy this little insight into how the Joker saw things an why he was there the night of the Arkham break out….Lets leave you thinking was it actually a good idea for him to go to her apartment, was it Batman that actually blew a hole in the side of Arkham or was It someone else after Harley?
x